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I didn't but I admit, it's a possibility that she thinks I expect her to go to the concert, or at least the festival. Which I absolutely DON'T. When I made the same offer to my aunt in 2021 (the destination then was Columbus, OH), she was happy to chill at the hotel. They had a Netflix app on the TV; I gave Auntie the password and she watched a movie while I was at the concert.

Yes, yes, YEEEEESSS! And honestly, at this point bff has known me long enough to know that my #1 pet peeve--just above people who live in bigger houses than they "need" and visible bra straps--is people constantly saying they're going to do something and then not doing it. That's flat out lying, IMO, though there's some wiggle room when you say "we should...". A mutual friend of ours did just that for years; she moved to VA with her family and spent probably five years coming back to OH for vacation and telling us how she was going to move back, how she missed OH and wanted to return, how she just needed to find housing (she had a job that would've welcomed her back). And every dang time, I got excited and was looking forward to her return to NE Ohio and thinking of all the things we could do together...and then she never moved back. We don't even talk these days, though we follow each other on Instagram.

So you've just reached the very heart of the issue for me. Yes, bff WAS a nurse for 30 years, working her way up to nurse manager the last dozen years or so. She mostly worked nights, which meant she got a shift differential , which meant her pay was even higher. She never had kids. She only once ever bought herself a new car--she had an Elantra, like me, for a decade or so. She doesn't have any expensive hobbies and she's never taken any exotic trips. The house has been paid off for at least a decade. So I'm honestly having trouble figuring out what she means by "I'm broke" or "I'm so poor". Like, did she really blow through all the money she made as a nurse? She has a financial advisor, and she brags about having had a 403b instead of a 401K at work (I don't really know the difference other than it's supposedly a stronger-better?--retirement fund). I wonder if maybe she DID save a ton of money and has it tied up in retirement accounts she can't yet touch and is thus planning on becoming a millionaire or whatever when she hits a certain age. Or maybe she just has expenses she's never told me about? It's a mystery, for sure.

But also, you are 100% correct about her being depressed. I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure if it's a clinical depression (changes in brain chemistry) or just seriously bummed about her current lot in life. She has always been super impressed by people who have money and has, IMO, always taken some joy out of having more money than most of her friends (our mutual friend who plays French horn professionally is an exception), so I think she's struggling now to accept she's not the "richest" person in the room. And I think a lot of her self-worth is tied to her finances (money ="success in life"), which is a shame because despite my whinging about her on occasion, she is a wonderful person who is sooooo much more than just her bank account. Which is why I so badly want her to take me up on my offer to go to Marietta...I think she needs to get out of her head for a while and have some fun.

We really do need to talk.