So, about 3 weeks ago I did something very hurtful to my husband. I won't go into details - I am ashamed - but it'd been eating at me for weeks.
Have you talked to your husband about it? It might help.
Then, yesterday I got a call at work which sent me over the edge. Had nothing to do with me, but I was super super upset. But I cannot discuss with anyone.
Oof...bad timing.
My heart has been racing. I've been experiencing fatigue and dizziness. Insomnia. Convinced I had AFib. Every catastrophic thought possible - that M was going to leave me, even though he talks about us buying a condo in the near future.
And in the middle of all this, I took myself off of THC.
Also bad timing :-(
Last night we went to the ER. I was crying to the doc and then the EKG tech. They must have found nothing because we sat there for 3 hours, and just left. They were crazy - at least 3 stroke victims there last night. At home, I cried and cried to my husband, who held me and told me the incident was behind us and suggested I try to put it behind me.
Did they send you home from the ER or did you just leave on your own? I'm glad they didn't find anything serious even though you felt like something serious was going on.
I've been in touch with my primary. She thinks it's THC withdrawal, so she ordered an anti-anxiety med precisely for that.
I hope that's all it is and the anti-anxiety med helps!
Today, my two wonderful colleagues and buddies were 100% there for me...took me out for lunch, bought me Starbucks. My boss also gave me a huge pep talk. He has nothing but positive things to say about me.
I'm really happy to hear that! It's great that you have a strong support system at work...
So I am feeling like a good sob again, but it felt really good to get this all out and acknowledge how much the incident was weighing on me. I also sobbed it out to my brother.
...and someone in your family to talk to.
And I'm now down to 140 lbs (5'7") so it feels nice to not have to worry about losing weight, for the first time in 30 years. I can eat again.
Congratulations!
Other good news is that LW is about to be in touch with his half brother in MO - someone I believe he will hit it off with. LW needs a mentor, I think C is also on the spectrum, and I think it will be a good connection for him.
Oh, that would be ideal!
Thanks for coming to my whinge talk!
Aw, you're not whinging...you're dealing with some 💩 and I'm glad you're comfortable enough to confront it and confide in us. May the worst be over for you!
