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Subject:

Thank you--glad we're all good here 😄

From: Wahoo Find all posts by Wahoo View Wahoo's profile Send private message to Wahoo
Date: Wed, 30-Oct-2024 10:26:11 AM PDT
Where: SoapZone Community Message Board
In topic: ~*~*~WEEK OF OCTOBER 28 POTPOURRI~*~*~ posted by Wahoo
In reply to: Sorry, Vicky - not offensive. Just literally made me think of how we both do and posted by Dreamylyfe
don't know each other because BOY do I know about getting married for under $1k. But there is also really no reason you'd know that about me.

True. As much as we all like to share on SZ, we will never know *everything* about each other.

Like I said -- it was just me reflecting on "knowing" people online vs. in real life. I probably should have put an emoji in there.

No worries!

Honestly, my favorite weddings have always been the ones done cheaply because they always seem to be the most joyous occasions.

I get this. I don't want to judge spending money you have -- the most bougie wedding I've ever been to was my cousin's and they had the money for it -- but I do like the touches that are both sentimental AND cost effective. for instance, my friend just got married wit a bouquet picked from her backyard, gave out favours made from raspberries in her backyard (jam) and then had donuts from a locally-famous bakery instead of a wedding cake. All were really personal. All cost less than what they might have done otherwise.

That sounds lovely! The most bougie wedding I've been to was a cousin's destination wedding in Mexico. 10 months (not years, months) later, the couple was divorced. Seems like once my cousin "put a ring on it", he thought it was OK to get physical, and not in a fun way. I'm so proud of my cousin for shutting that down REAL quick.

Nobody's stressing out about everything having to be perfect or worrying about how they're going to pay for everything. Also, the most memorable weddings I've been to or have been told about were often memorable for the wrong reasons. Such as the time my good high school friend's brother got married and his new bride actually slapped the caterer for cutting the slices of wedding cake too big.

That is definitely memorable. Though maybe not the kind of memory I'd like!

Years later, this is still a sort of joke among friends. As in "yeah, this reception isn't that great but at least nobody b!tch-slapped the caterer!"

Or my bff's brother's second wedding, when the bride had a meltdown at the reception because her new groom's 4 year old son had an accident (he ran into the bleachers in the school gym where the reception was being held) and the groom took the child to the ER for stitches. The bride accused her new husband of caring for his son more than her and "ruining" their big day by leaving the reception early.

This is where you get into "Maybe I just don't have a wedding..." -- because the expectations are insane.

Exactly! Yes, the bride was more than a wee bit drunk at that point but sheesh, what a thing to whine about. Surprisingly, the couple is still married; they went on to have two kids of their own in addition to raising his kids from his first marriage. But nobody feels it's a "good" marriage. Ask my bff some time about her thoughts on this particular SIL...but be sure to set aside an hour or so to hear them.

AND -- feel free to join me if you share this gripe -- I think the internet has made this worse. The expectations. The instagram aspect. the "IT'S MY SPECIAL DAY" madness. The way people feel like they can 100% throw wine on someone if there is a bit of white in their dress. It's just a lot of Reddit-fueled mania and entitlement.

Yes, yes, YES! One of my guilty pleasures is reading the Reddit forum "Am I the a-hole?" A surprising number of stories center around a bride's unrealistic expectations (guests wearing certain colors and/or outfits, bridesmaids having to pay for their dress AND a destination bachelorette party AND plane tickets/lodging for a destination wedding, etc.). And like you and chloe, I've watched Four Weddings and cringed at some of the expectations, and expenses, the brides have.

Got it. I'm just saying that for some people it's better not to have a wedding at all than to deal with the upset a cheap wedding will cause. Like it's technically an option, but it's only an option if they are willing to have years of drama (or just stop talking to their families entirely.)

Ah, gotcha. Definitely!


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