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Subject:

Sorry, Vicky - not offensive. Just literally made me think of how we both do and

From: Dreamylyfe Find all posts by Dreamylyfe View Dreamylyfe's profile Send private message to Dreamylyfe
Date: Wed, 30-Oct-2024 9:11:21 AM PDT
Where: SoapZone Community Message Board
In topic: ~*~*~WEEK OF OCTOBER 28 POTPOURRI~*~*~ posted by Wahoo
In reply to: I apologize if anything I said in my post came across as offensive posted by Wahoo
don't know each other because BOY do I know about getting married for under $1k. But there is also really no reason you'd know that about me.

or as criticism of you or anyone who truly won't get married unless they can have a big, expensive wedding. It wasn't intended as such. And of course I didn't mean to imply you knew nothing about cheap weddings.

Like I said -- it was just me reflecting on "knowing" people online vs. in real life. I probably should have put an emoji in there.

Additionally, I came so close to doing the "I know you don't need to have a wedding that costs $10k but families are unhinged" note at the end of the post, but I didn't.

Honestly, my favorite weddings have always been the ones done cheaply because they always seem to be the most joyous occasions.

I get this. I don't want to judge spending money you have -- the most bougie wedding I've ever been to was my cousin's and they had the money for it -- but I do like the touches that are both sentimental AND cost effective. for instance, my friend just got married wit a bouquet picked from her backyard, gave out favours made from raspberries in her backyard (jam) and then had donuts from a locally-famous bakery instead of a wedding cake. All were really personal. All cost less than what they might have done otherwise.

Nobody's stressing out about everything having to be perfect or worrying about how they're going to pay for everything. Also, the most memorable weddings I've been to or have been told about were often memorable for the wrong reasons. Such as the time my good high school friend's brother got married and his new bride actually slapped the caterer for cutting the slices of wedding cake too big.

That is definitely memorable. Though maybe not the kind of memory I'd like!

Or my bff's brother's second wedding, when the bride had a meltdown at the reception because her new groom's 4 year old son had an accident (he ran into the bleachers in the school gym where the reception was being held) and the groom took the child to the ER for stitches. The bride accused her new husband of caring for his son more than her and "ruining" their big day by leaving the reception early.

This is where you get into "Maybe I just don't have a wedding..." -- because the expectations are insane.

AND -- feel free to join me if you share this gripe -- I think the internet has made this worse. The expectations. The instagram aspect. the "IT'S MY SPECIAL DAY" madness. The way people feel like they can 100% throw wine on someone if there is a bit of white in their dress. It's just a lot of Reddit-fueled mania and entitlement.

So again...get married or don't, I don't care. Have a big expensive wedding or a small cheap wedding...I don't care. But if you--not YOU personally but the general "you"--think the ONLY way to get married is to spend a lot of money on the ceremony, then I'm thinking maybe you're not focusing on what's the most important part of a marriage. Honestly, that's all I'm saying here.

Got it. I'm just saying that for some people it's better not to have a wedding at all than to deal with the upset a cheap wedding will cause. Like it's technically an option, but it's only an option if they are willing to have years of drama (or just stop talking to their families entirely.)


[Edited by Dreamylyfe on Wed, 30-Oct-2024 9:13:34 AM PDT]
[Edited by Dreamylyfe on Wed, 30-Oct-2024 9:14:54 AM PDT]
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