Daily Updates

General Hospital Update for Tuesday, 28-Mar-2000

Ye gods...Pinafore's over, school's fairly light, you'd think I'd have some actual *time* to do this...anyway, here's today's down-n-dirty:

1) We begin with a champagne glass filled with what I hope is water, as Chloe takes her latest round of drugs. She tells Jax she's feeling "jusssst fii*hic*ne", and that she hasn't been experiencing any side effects from the medication. That's assuming he's seeing those dancing purple elephants, too. Anyway, Ned and Alexis show up, and Ned and Chloe head down to the Grill so they can go over the divorce agreement Alexis has worked out for them. Jax offers to get some room service--but Alexis says that she'd prefer to cook for him one last time. *sniff* I'm so sentimental. Or maybe just mental...

2) Emily and Juan are at L&B *again*. They get close in an appropriately contrived way.

3) And here we have Edward committing mail fraud again--he's reading the divorce papers Carly had sent to AJ from the Dominican. Aloud, and to AJ. Ouch.

4) Bobbie arrives at Kelly's, where Tammy greets her enthusiastically, wondering where she's been. Bobbie makes a lame little pun about being "tied up", and Tammy tells her to give Roy a call, as he's been worried. Off Bobbie's unpleasant expression--

5) --To the man himself, who's stalking the docks. Hannah catches up to him, and says that she saw Bobbie. Roy fills her in on the rescue, then tells her that he told the fair damsel *everything* about his involvement with the FBI. This displeases the young 'un, and she somehow parallels him and Bobbie to--who else?--her and Sonny. She tells her dad that, "You're starting to sound like me" (again, I say ouch!), and Roy gets flustered and leaves. Hey, if somebody told me *I* sounded like Hannah, I'd take off, too.

6) Back at Kelly's, Tammy's still pestering Bobbie to call Roy--but Liz provides a distraction, and the two get into some heavy-duty Lucky conjecture, after which Bobbie heads out to escape Tammy's nagging. And who should she run into outside but Agent Ford--er, I mean, Larkin (points if you get the reference!).

7) AJ tells Eddie off for opening his mail, then makes a hasty exit.

8) At the Grill, Tony happens upon Ned and Chloe, and starts in on an unofficial medical quiz. Chloe reports goodness, then adds that she and Ned are divorcing. Tony, needless to say, doesn't seem shocked, and wanders over to the bar so he can provide later plot development (watch for it!). The almost-swinging singles go back to discussing the fate of their companies, their love interests, and whether or not they'd repeat this whole marriage fiasco. Ned says yes; Chloe neglects to comment.

9) Well, what did you *think* Alexis meant when she said she wanted to cook?! She and Jax finish off a bowl of popcorn while doing *something* on their laptops. They discuss the ring Alexis is wearing on her lefthand ring finger ("A Commitment Ring", she insists, to much guffawing)--and then, she makes the stunning suggestion that they all stay married to the ones they're married to. ("I'm shocked, that's what I am--shocked." More points for that reference.) Jax immediately asks what Ned's done to make her want this, and she insists that it's nothing; if they stay married, they can continue to fight Gertrude, build up companies...yeah, Jax doesn't buy it either. Finally he wears her down, and she confesses that the thought of her happiness being dependent on someone else terrifies her.

10) Ned and Chloe are *very* amicably dealing with their divorce agreement--but the lighthearted mood is broken when AJ intrudes, deciding that they should all celebrate the dissolution of their marriages.

11) Emily's working quietly at L&B--but then Nikolas shows up with a pretty young lady in tow, who is forced to answer her cell phone every five seconds in a case of The Writers Want Her To Look Busy And Therefore Important-itis. Sorry, it's incurable. Anyway, during one of these calls, Nik explains that the woman--Lin--is an entertainment agent who he's hoping will have something to do with L&B. Of course, at this auspicious moment who should enter but Juan, who is immediately introduced to Lin and told to sing for her. Right in the hot seat...

12) Larkin's busy getting in Bobbie's face--because the FBI *always* harass innocent women who've just been through a terrifying kidnapping--and in trying to get her to talk to him, he grabs her arm. Suddenly Roy's there, grabbing the misguided agent and pushing him up against a wall with a *serious* admonition: "Don't you ever put your hands on that woman." Any other woman, okay. But not Bobbie, darnit!

13) Jax lectures Alexis on love. They discuss Ned's track record with marriage (in which Chloe and Katherine don't count, naturally). Much tender talk of trust issues and declarations of friendship. Aww.

14) AJ and Ned insult each other (insert "shocked" quote here), after which AJ decides he needs a drink, and goes to get one. Ned, of course, stops him, but before they can get into throwing punches, Tony (yes! I told you to watch for it, and here it is!) interjects, saying that he'll make sure AJ gets home without killing anyone. Ned and AJ shoot him a pair of absolutely prieless looks, and the scene ends.

15) Back at L&B, Lin says that she'd love to hear Juan sing, so the moment is set up quite rapidly. Apparently Lin is on one of those "herbal remedies" that are so often found in the music biz, because she listens to that same old, sickening song with rapt adoration, apparently not noticing that the song was dubbed beforehand and Juan is just lipsynching to the soundtrack. She *loves* it, and gushes hugely, and gives Juan her card, and promises to talk him up to other biz folks. But what's this? In the background, Emily's looking a little jealous...

16) Back at the Grill, Ned and Chloe leave the poor drunk with Tony, and go to have their supper. On their way, they tell each other to keep their wedding rings as a memento of their time together. Hmm. I wonder what Jax'll think of Chloe keeping Ned's ring? I sense a fistfight!

17) Tony dishes out another round of advice to poor AJ who, of course, ignores it all in favour of whining about his messed up life. He then tries to escape all these oppressive good intentions, but Tony won't let him drive--so AJ tosses his keys on the bar and says he'll walk.

18) Now it's Jax's turn to whine--er, I mean, make a point about love. Yeah. He tells Alexis that Chloe's sick, she could go blind, he can't take her to Alaska, he's all worried, she's on medication...Alexis sends out a witty rejoinder about her worries for her and Ned, and then the two almost-exes snuggle. Genuine aww.

19) Well, when Liz and Emily have a scene at L&B, what *will* they talk about? Yup, that's right--Lucky, complete with as much conjecture as five minutes will allow. All kinds of what ifs, which I had a hard time concentrating on when confronted with Emily's makeup. Ick! It's all pasty and looks caked on, and we don't get a break from it because she soon gets into the jealousy she felt when Juan was singing for Important Agent Chick (I knew it!). Gads, that girl is insecure...

20) Roy and Larkin, who have wandered away from Bobbie (and have failed to notice that she's followed them) discuss how Roy "messed up" in rescuing Bobbie without getting anything on Sonny. Okay kids, enough's enough. Way to completely screw *all* respect for the FBI that any highly-impressionable viewer had. Jeez...Larkin leaves after threatening Roy one more time, and Bobbie comes out of her eavesdropping location, then asks if Roy's in trouble with the Feds. I wonder--could we have *any* more condescension to the viewers here? I don't quite feel as mentally insignificant as I should.

21) "The minute you become lovers, all that objectivity goes straight out the window." This would be the writers justifying keeping Jax and Alexis' relationship as "just friends", spoken through Alexis' clenched teeth. Ned and Chloe walk in on a lovely best friends moment, and the two couples partner up with the ones they've generally agreed they're supposed to be with. More snuggling commenceth.

22) Em and Liz continue to talk about Juan--but then he enters, and Liz escapes to the back room, hoping the walls will be thick enough that she won't have to listen to the boy sing again. He doesn't, but instead thanks Em for helping him take the opportunity that presented itself today. His words melt her heart, and they snuggle, too.

23) AJ runs into Hannah outside Kelly's, and mumbles something pathetic before slouching off. The dark-haired beauty stares after him with something akin to pity on her face. In a refreshing change of pace, they don't snuggle.

24) Finally, we cut back to Roy and Bobbie on the docks. They generally agree that Larkin is annoying and nuts, and Roy, in his typically hotheaded way, announces that he's done with dealing with the FBI and is going to quit, no matter what. Bobbie basically says "more power to you"--just so long as he doesn't disappear from her life again. And with that mixed message, she storms off, leaving Roy staring abstractedly after her. Sorry, folks, no snuggling here, either.

Tomorrow: Luke and Felicia find themselves in an enclosed space together yet again, while Laura gets fed up and abandons them to the wild Abominable Snowmen that are running loose all over the island. Fallout from the freezing machine, no doubt...

Jeneva (Jayne Leitch) < jleitch@netcom.ca >