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For all of us Lucky and Liz-a-holics, this was The Day. After faithfully following every heartbeat of the developing relationship bewteen these two, we got the Big Payoff. Was it worth the wait? Ooooohhhh yeeeaaahhh. Did it meet everyone's exceedingly high expectations? Again I say, ooohhhhhh yeeeaaahhh. Jon Jackson and Becky Herbst rocked our world with some truly memorable scenes that culminated in their first kiss. (Acting aside, IMO they may have rocked their own worlds a little bit, too, filming these scenes!) If you love these two and, for some sad reason, you didn't get to see today's show, please don't settle for this update--post a message on the PCO Board to solicit a tape. Meanwhile, I'll tell you all about it, and about everything else that happened in this episode (yes, there were actually other storylines being played out, and I will give them equal time).


All I Want Is This...
Liz leads Lucky by the hand in the dark toward the boxcar; his eyes are shut and he playfully protests--she just wants him to fall down and break something, doesn't she? Liz tells him that they have to do it this way--it's a surprise for him and if he opens his eyes, he'll see it. Lucky, who is clearly loving every minute of this, grumbles that he'll see it eventually anyway, but Liz tells him that she wants it all to be the way she wants it. After she checks to see that everything is perfect, she tells him to give her his hand and she helps him up into the boxcar. "I won't let you fall," she assures him, hoisting him up. As he stands beside her, eys shut, waiting, Liz takes a split-second to just look at him and then takes a little breath, half-closing her eyes, as if she's breathing him in (exactly the same way that a million girls across the country would do if they were standing that close to him...it was a great little acting choice). She tells him to open his eyes. She has placed votive candles all around, and the boxcar is lit with a warm, soft glow. Lucky is speechless as Liz holds out an acoustic guitar, offering it to him.
The guitar is polished and glearming, and decorated with different stickers with 1960's motifs, including a peace sign and the ying-yang symbol. Lucky's face is a mixture of shock and delight, while Liz is flushed with success; his reaction is just what she hoped for. "Mine?" he asks incredulously. "As in, I don't have to borrow my cousin Sly's guitar anymore?" "Yours," she replies with a smile. Lucky can't believe how cool she is to buy him a guitar and Liz explains that it used to belong to her uncle, who left it behind when he went to Africa. She describes how she got it restrung for him and how she put the stickers on it because it looked so plain. They sit across from each other on boxes as he strums a few chords and checks out the stickers. "Me, with twenty-four hour a day access to a guitar," he muses, then smiles. "This is...this is the greatest present anyone's ever given me." Liz is bursting with pride that her gift has gone over so well. Has he always played an instrument?, she asks. Lucky tells her that music was always just really important to him. Because of a teacher or someone like that, Liz guesses. "Because of my dad," Luky replies evenly and Liz is embarrassed to have led him to thoughts of his father. It's okay for Lucky, though; he will give credit where it's due and his father has the greatest taste in music, with enough CD's and records to start a radio station. Lucky remembers how his father taught him about music the way one learns about the alphabet, with a different style of music and a different artist every night. "Just two guys bondng over the blues," Liz says softly, and Lucky wistfully tells her that Luke's place was supposed to be about that. It wasn't always a place famous for car bombings and shootings; it was once a place for great music, and B.B. King even played there on opening night. "Back then there wasn't any place as cool as Luke's," Lucky says quietly. "And no one else was half as cool as the man". Liz looks at him with tenderness--she's sorry she brought it up because those old days seem so far away now. Lucky looks straight in her eyes. "I never thought I would feel as close to another person as I did to him. Then you happened." Liz lets this wash over her as Lucky begins to play a melody, then she asks him "What if someone had a request?". Lucky smiles sweetly. "If it were you, I think she could ask for just about anything right now." (pause, while your updater thinks of several things she could ask for, but never mind). Liz asks him to play the song he wrote for her and Lucky tenses a little. She has the tape, she can play it anytime, but Liz persists. She doesn't have the tape right now, she only has him, and besides, he has always said he could do it better. She doesn't believe that's possible, but here's his chance to try. "Remind me to learn how to win an argument with you," Lucky says half-pleased and half-nervous at her request. He bends his head over the guiatr to begin strumming the opening chords of "Elizabeth". (Updater's editorial: The tape of the song has always made his voice seem a little thin, although very sincere; of course, the tape was supposed to be imperfect. However, this live performance is beautifully nuanced and tender; you must see the play of emotions on Lucky's face to fully appreciate it.)
As you kneel beside your bed tonight,
Keep a little prayer for me in sight
Know that I'll be there when you call
Know that I will ctach you when you fall
Elizabeth
Go to sleep
I want to watch you breathe
I want to feel God's peace
All I want...(whispered) is this...(Lucky looks into her eyes as he whispers this)
Elizabeth.

Elizabeth looks a little dazed as she tries to respond. "That was...thank you". Lucky is still looking at her and the intensity between them shimmers. "I don't want you to go," he murmers. "But I don't want you to get in trouble either." "I hope you don't freeze tonight," Liz replies ruefully. Lucky just smiles, looking at her with what can really only be described as love. "You know," he tells her, marveling a little at his own insight. "Eveything about you is the best. The best there is." His words hang in the air, and then he gets up to go, carefully placing the guitar on the floor.
He jumps to the ground and turns, as Liz struggles a little to get down. "Help me, she says," laughing lightly as she jumps down, and then stumbles into his arms. Their face are inches away as they have been so many times, but this time, as easily as taking a calm breath, they move together and their lips touch. Liz looks up at Lucky and gives a barely perceptible signal with a flick of her eyelashes. She wants to do this. Their lips meet again and move softly together. Lucky's lips caress Liz's bottom lip, then her upper lip, then back. They move slightly away, and Liz's lips curve into a little smile, while, with his face still close to hers, Lucky breaks into a smile that both reassures her and expresses his obvious delight. They turn and walk off, hand in hand. It was the perfect first kiss for them--tender, yet sensuous, and absolutely true to the development of their relationship. Oooooohhhh yeeeaaaahhh.

It's So Hard To Say GoodBye to Yesterday
Jax opens the door to his penthouse, and stares into the dim, silent room. He is exhausted and shell-shocked. Jerry stands besides him, watching him closely, trying to read his brother's thoughts. Jerry suggests room service, and advises Jax to at least change clothes. Jax barely seems to hear him. "I'll be right here," Jerry assures him. "I gave the coast guard my number, " Jax mutters to himself, and checks his messages. There are none for him. And for Miss Barrett? he asks in a choked voice. Jax puts down the phone and is near tears. Jerry readies himself to spend the night, but Jax flatly tells him to go home. Jerry refuses, and Jax faces him. He has begun to realize that any hope that Brenda is alive is false, and it shows on his face. He tells Jax quiety. "There are some things that I need to know tomorrow and I need some time before I can know them". Jax knows he must realize that he will never see Brenda walk through the door again, will never feel her hair on his neck. "I'm supposed to understand that somehow. And I don't think I can do it with you in the room." Struggling to hold back the breakdown that is inside him, Jax tells Jerry again to please let him be alone. Jerry realizes that Jax must have privacy to grieve. In a moving gesture of fraternal love, he puts a hand behind Jax's neck and draws his head to him; he touches his forehead to Jax's in silent sympathy and releases him. Jerry assures Jax that he will return in the morning to help Jax search the coastline, and Jax nods in acknowledgment, desperately wanting Jerry to leave so that he won't break down in fron of him. FInally, Jerry is gone, and Jax takes a long look around the room. He is completely alone now.
Jax goes over and begins a violent game of pinball; he pounds at the controls as if to beat back the memories that are flooding into his mind. He remembers Brenda on their wedding day, as she tells him that she can't think straight becuase she is so dizzily in love with him; she is beautiful as she tells him that she is head over heels in old-fashioned loe with him, and he twirls her aound in his arms, joyous. The memory recedes, but another replaces it. Jax remembers when Brenda said goodbye to him, to go and begin her life with Sonny. "I'm sorry about nobody leaves," she says, and he answers, "Nobody left. We just let go,". We see Jax's face as the first realization of his loss breaks over him. He remembers first meeting Brenda, when she was younger and more biting; she asks him if she is just supposed to get with him and forget all about Sonny Corinthos. He remembers their time in New Orleans, and their romantic, erotic nights. His heart is obviously breaking (and Ingo gives all of these scenes his all).

He's Not Heavy, He's My Brother
Jerry sits on the bottom step of the brownstone and stares into the night as Bobbie appears at the top of the stairs. She tells him the the delivery men have brought his furniture and set it up. "Right," Jerry acknowledges. Doesn't he want to see everything all set up? "No," he replies without expression. Bobbie knows trouble when she sees it, and comes to sit beside him. He looks as if someone died, she tells him. He looks at her. "Someone did. My brother's fiance." Bobbie is shocked. Jeery explains the circumstances of Brenda's death off-camera. When the scene returns, he tells Bobbie. "I don't know when I've ever felt so...pointless". All the things he's done, all the schemes he's pulled...and for what? He laughs mirthlessly. He explains to Bobbie the dynamic of his relationship with his brother. Does she know what he means when he says that there is always something that helps you justify things in your head...like, for example, if she can keep Lucas fed, and the mortagage paid, she can get through anything? That is how he feels about Jax. As long as Jax was happy, as long as he was golden, then Jerry could take anything. Jerry recognizes that his feelings weren't always unselfish--if there was no black sheep, then Jax could not be the white sheep, and Jerry used that justification to enjoy all the fruits of being the black sheep. He wore the black sheep status with pride, but when he saw Jax dive out of the helipcopter into the ocean, from 300 feet up, not caring that the impact could break his neck, not caring about the riptides...Jerry watched helplessdly from the coptor, holding his breath, but no Jax, calling over and over, but no Jax...then finally to see Jax appear and to realize in that moment that Jax never lived for the things that Jerry made possible for him, or what Jerry did for Jax. "He lived for her." The worst thing that could ever happen has happened, and Jerry is powerless to protect Jax. (Julian Stone's performance of this powerful monologue was flawless.)

The (Call) Girl is Mine
Alan is gasping for air and Tammy frantically tries to revive him. She grabs the phone, but Alan chokes, no! He can't go to GH! Where then?!? Tammy screams,and Alan gives her the name of the clinic where Tony works. He arrives there off-camera, and Tony steps up to examine the patient, asking the nurse questions. Then he looks up and sees Tammy, and there ensues a quick little comic scene as Tammy, Alan, And Tony all recognize each other. "Garth?" Tammy asked, incredulous. "Tony?" Alan wheezes, surprised that Tammy seems to know Tony. "Roy?" Tammy looks questioningly at Alan. "Alan?" Tony raises an eyebrow. Tony questions Tammy in front of Alan and she explains that she and Roy were in the middle of a business transaction and he suddenly grabbed his chest. After cross-examining Tammy as to all of Alan's symptoms, Tony contemptuously diagnoses Alan's problems as a panic attack, brought on by sexual nervousness after too much chemical ingestion,complicated by Viagra. He issues a sarcastic diatribe against Alan, mentioning the drug addiction in no uncertain terms, as Tammy looks on, concerned. After Tony finishes his lecture, both look expectantly at Alan, who has said not a word. Finally Alan looks at Tony and asks accusingly, "And exactly how do you two know each other?" It is really a funny twist. When Tony is out of the room Alan tells Tammy that she may have saved his life. She is modest, pointing out that it was just a panic attack. Alan begins warning her about Tony and what a terrble man he is. Tony appears and tells Tammy that, besides Alan's other problems, he is known for wild jealousy, however, inappropriate it might be. Alan is ridiculous as he begins bickering with Tony over Tammy. Tammy is too good for Tony! She won't have anything to do with him anymore becuase Alan is looking after her now! Tammy rolls her eyes and interjects some common sense: "This is not the high school prom." Tony shakes his head with disgust as he tells Alan to get rest, eat better, lay off the pills, then gives up when he realizes how pointless it is to give normal medical advice to a man who is flushing his life down the toilet. Alan is unmoved by any of this. The hell with him, he tells Tammy as Tony leaves. "I know you don't really like him," he says in a voice like an eight year old. Really, really pathetic.

I Wuv You, you Wuv Me, We're a Per-fect Fam-i-ly
Note: If the next part of the update seems to rip the fabric of space and time with the sheer force of its boring idiocy...cool! I will then have perfectly captured the flavor and tone of this episode's scenes with Robin and Jason. I had to tie my hand to the sofa leg to keep from snatching the remote control and even then, my toes scrambled to touch the FF button. The scenes were almost as enjoyable as wearing gravel inside a pair of high-heeled pumps that are one size too small.
Robin and Jason are in the penthouse discussing Jason's meeting with his staff. Robin is wearing a sleeveless, red satin/back mesh dress with a plunging neckline that is shockingly wrong for her, but might be a smash hit on Tammy the Hooker. Its tight fit perfectly outlines the shapely curves of Robin's jutting ribs and accentuates the length of her Mount Everest neck. The dress should be burned and whoever put it on her should be fired (Especially if she chose it herself). Anyway, Jason tells Robin that some of his staff feel let down because he's leaving the mob and are, perhaps, jealous that he is apparently going to get out alive and enjoy a normal life with his lover. It's all going to be okay--they are going to live just the way that they want to and no one can stop them. Robins ventures that they can now go anywhere they want, and Jason reminds her that they can't go too far away from Carly. Robin hastens to correct him--she didn't mean that they should leav P.C., she just thinks that it might be nice to get a place that is all their own. Robin suggests looking for a house in the same area where Brenda lives, and wonders how much they can afford to pay in rent. Jason assures her that they still have plenty of money and can afford whatever they want (although they apparently don't have enough money to either buy the house outright or secure a mortgage). The scenes develop into a long discussion of their future, much like the kind of discussion you could imagine your boring neighbors heving about their boring lives--the kind of discussion you are glad that they don't have when their windows are open, so that you might inadvertently hear them and be bored out of your skull. Robin lies across Jason's lap and Jason informs her that, although they are rich (but are still only renting), he is going to start working in Mike's motorcycle shop. Robin is thrilled by his career choice, it is so cool and so perfect. She happily reflects that she never thought they'd be doing this--planning their lives like normal people (yes, just like normal people, the kind of people that don't belong on television because they are not doing anything interesting or entertaining.) Jason has a difficult time visualizing how their lives will be, and Robin reminds him of the time they spent in Montauk and how happy they were. He remembers. She suggests that he visualize Michael blended into that perfectness and he begins to see how it will be--their lives are going to be GREAT!

And there you have it--all in all, it was a great episode. We saw tender young love, and all of its sweetness; Titan-love lost in death, and the bitterness of grief; brotherly love, and the helplessness of watching someone you love suffer alone; love for sale, and the comic relief of Tammy the hooker; and smug, we-have-it-all love and its endless domestic self-congratulation. I end with one last expression of joy, directed to all my fellow Liz and Lucky fans who thought today ROCKED: Oooooooooohhhhhh Yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! 'Til next time...

[Note: Is anyone reading these updates? It takes a while to do them, so e-mail me if this is helpful to you at all.]