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From: jyarnot@netcom.com (Jan Yarnot) Subject: GH: Thanksgiving Update! Date: Tue, 16 Dec 1997 00:04:03 GMT IT'S THE THANKSGIVING GH UPDATE! First, a note from Your Fearless Updater. I missed Tommy and his spinach. He belonged (with Simone) at the Hardy's, but since they live at the Brownstone, they could have been there, too. Since if I recall correctly, Simone is estranged from her own family, they wouldn't be there. I guess they had to Stay In Their Room. Now, in reverse order of YFU's preference: 1. THE SUPERMODEL AND HER LACKEY Brenda goes to the door. Jax is there with dessert. He comments that she's all dressed, and the house isn't full of smoke. She's had a little trouble defrosting the already-stuffed but still-frozen turkey in the microwave, which is all his fault, of course. [Rats. They could have gotten salmonella poisoning and died, but Nooooooooo....] She'd made the "black cranberry sauce" because, tee-hee, she wasn't sure what "gelled" meant. Brenda keeps looking out the window, expecting the catered meal to arrive. This is logical, considering how often Jax has pulled her chestnuts out of the fire lately, but he actually believed her this time. There's no parachute. Brenda says "we'll just go out" but Jax the "I'll fly it in from Ireland" guy doesn't have the enormous resources of the Quartermaines, who know how to get a take-out meal on Thanksgiving. They have marshmallows and Brenda has the great idea to make s'mores with frozen graham-cracker crust and the chocolate torte he brought. "Brenda, DON'T BAKE!" he pleads. They end up eating the s'mores. Awww, so cute. 2. TEENS Liz is having a cigarette while purportedly looking for Gatsby. Sarah comes out and they almost talk pleasantly. Audrey is holding flowers and Nik comes by with a centerpiece. "Just like the Pilgrims," Liz remarks. "Bring gifts to the natives and kill them and take everything they own." No sign of Gatsby, maybe he's gone for good. Just then the doorbell rings. Audrey asks pleasantly: "Would you get that, Elizabeth? It's probably the juvenile authorities come to take you away." It's actually Lucky, holding Gatsby. Audrey, who is vaguely manic, claims that Gatsby once sent her a postcard from Chicago. There are many awkward pauses. Then Foster barks. Apparently Lucky took his Thanksgiving treat (Gatsby) away. We hear G. yowl. Lucky leaves. Gatsby gets back. Liz, outside, flirts with Lucky. At dinner Audrey asks Nik to say the grace, and they look at Steve's empty chair. 3. THE BROWNSTONE Luke lets Mac and Felicia and Maxie and Georgie in, shouting over his shoulder to Bobbie: "Your annoying neighbors are here." Foster is here (before he tracks Gatsby to the Hardy's.) The bell rings. It's Tony and Carly. "Hello doc Bro ex-in-law" says Luke. "Carly." Carly hands Luke the flowers she's carrying but drops them just before he gets them. There's an awkward pause. (Lucas dashes in for his present and dashes out again.) Bobbie suggests they stay for dinner? Tony and Carly try to back out, with Luke saying in the background "they have reservations" which is a double meaning for sure. LUKE certainly has reservations! Bobbie says they need to establish a precedent. They will be having holidays together, the children will play together, they need to practice. Tony and Carly give in. The bell rings, and it's Amy and Ruby. Luke tries to talk Bobbie out of having Tony and Carly. At dinner, Luke makes a toast. It's just all so family and nice that Carly can't stand it and leaves the table. Bobbie follows her. Carly tells her she's really good at the holiday stuff. They have a bonding moment. Annabelle comes in, but Luke tells her Foster is "so over you, babe!" She has a soggy note from Edward, but all Luke can decipher is "Quartermaines thieves!" "Well, Annabelle, tell us something we don't already know." That favorite humorous couple, Mac and Felicia, are being quirky and perky again, over the dishwasher, which has bath toys in it. Hahah! 4. A QUIET PLEASANT UNEVENTFUL FAMILY THANKSGIVING [Your Fearless Updater waits all year for the Thanksgiving episode, since the Q's are always such fun. Again, they didn't disappoint.] Jason is at the Penthouse having a traditional Q Thanksgiving meal, pizza, when Emily comes in. He's having his mail forwarded from "that woman at Jake's" [YFU misses Jake!] and he's gotten two sweepstakes offers and a thing for Princess Diana collector plates. Emily gets right to the point: "As long as you're eating pizza, why don't you have Thanksgiving with us?" Monica is asking Alan what's wrong with Mario's? Alan wants something a little more fancy for Thanksgiving, a gourmet pizza. Monica argues: "I want a traditional Thanksgiving pizza, I don't want one that's made out of spinach!" Lila comes in with Keesha and A.J. A.J. asks: "Disaster strike already?" Alan suggests they call all the pizza places NOW so the employees can go home. Monica tries to get A.J. and Alan out for a walk. Suddenly there's a scream from the kitchen and a dog barking, and Justus comments: "That's not our turkey barking!" Lila suggests, hopefully, "Maybe Cook's finally managed to murder your father..." but Edward disappoints her, running in after Annabelle and Raoul. They've had the garlic mashed potatoes and the gravy. Monica hands Alan the phone for Mario's. Edward says no, he's made plans for every contingency. "Nothing will stop us from celebrating a quiet pleasant uneventful family Thanksgiving." Ned and Alexis come in. Back at the Penthouse, Emily asks why Jason doesn't sleep in Sonny's room. Ned says Reginald says Cook is upstairs packing. Edward starts to object to Alexis' prescence, and Lila shuts hims up. Edward: "Responsible or not, we still know under whose roof she sleeps every night." Alexis responds: "That would be yours, Edward." Ned tells them that Alexis and Stefan have had a parting of the ways. Lila asks if someone thought to take the turkey out of the oven, and A.J. is surprised: "A turkey actually MADE it to the oven?" Alan gets up to call Mario's, but Edward says it's his place to take care of everything, and he's ordered the pizza already. Justus, missing Mary Mae more every minute, asks: "You mean we're giving up on our turkey dinner without a fight?" Edward: "Indeed we are NOT." He plans to pile into the limo after dinner and take the pizza down to the homeless, "won't that be fun, mmmm?" The bell rings. Reginald comes in with three "Pilgrims with pizza". Raoul barks. The family discusses the masks, then the Pilgrims pull guns. Edward argues, as the family empties their pockets. The haul is disgustingly small, only $64 and change. "Don't you people carry wallets?" "In my own home?" blusters Edward. Monica says it ruins the line of his pants. A.J. asks for his wallet back, and Justus gets his driver's license back, and Monica goes for her contacts, and Keesha is surprised she wears them. Ned rescues his cell phone, and Edward goes to retrieve his gold pens, "they're not really of much value." Lila has apparently been at the martinis again, because she erupts: "I **BEG** your pardon! That's solid gold!" They all discuss this. Alexis says while she's not really familiar with the protocol, she suggests they take the armed robbery seriously. Robber #1 says "We can't go back with $64!" Alan agrees that the Quartermaines would be laughingstocks if that got out. Lila tells a robber that his mother should have taught him better than to manhandle an old lady in a wheelchair. [Your Fearless Updater suddenly realized Robber #1 was probably a SORASed Dillon!] The bad guys dither. Lila says it's all most upsetting. A.J. assures her that "they don't want to hurt anyone. DO you?" Lila says "No, these gentlemen don't seem to have any idea what they're supposed to do!" She points out the silver. She tells them to pack up the silver and leave. Then Alan suggests they take an ugly vase. The Quartermaines try to get rid of other stuff. Meanwhile, Edward writes a note for Annabelle to take to Foster. [We've seen what happened to that!] Jason shows Emily the cooked turkey he plans to use for sandwiches. She says that's proof he's not a Quartermaine, "no Quartermaine has ever come that close to a fully cooked turkey on Thanksgiving." She leaves. The phone rings. Jason remembers Robin saying how sorry she feels for the Quartermaines and how he's supposed to take care of Jason Quartermaine's family. Ned hands over a mantel clock. Alan looks at a kaleidoscope, but Monica reminds him that Emily's fond of it, so the robbers can't have it. Emily comes in. She's really surprised that they're getting robbed by Pilgrims. They'll be in big trouble when her brother Jason hears about this. She mentions Sonny's name. The Quartermaines are interested to hear that Jason lives in the penthouse now, but the robbers are more concerned about the dreaded name "Jason Morgan." Jason comes in with Pete and the turkey. The robbers rush out, leaving everything and knocking the turkey to the ground. They leave a note from Tracy, who has planned this robbery. Raoul comes in with pizza all over his face. They order Chinese takeout and sing their song. -- Jan Yarnot, net.granny, RABbabe, mouse-pushing wacko, member of SESIDAR Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional. jyarnot@netcom.com Putting the fun in "dysfunctional." http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/5144/