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Subject: GH Valentine's Day Update (2/14) Sent: 2/19/97 9:30 PM From: Pat Herman, pat7@worldnet.att.net >> The General Hospital Update for Friday Feb 14 1997 << Written By: Kathy Ellington You'll laugh, you'll cry...you'll kiss $3.00 goodbye! At the Spencer house... In her classic, schoolmarmish way, Audrey gave Luke (and Laura) a tongue- lashing over their obsession with the Evil Stefan. She agreed, however, to stop in and visit Lesley every morning as the Wonky Webber one seemed to respond to her. Alone with Tom on the porch, she also laid into him about his Cassadine paranoia. He responded by telling her that he believed Stefan was directly responsible for Steve's heart attack [oh, and Tom's resignation from the Gh staff and his continuing range war with his father weren't contributing factors?]. Audrey sighed in disbelief at what a chowderhead her son had become. [Cheer up, Audrey, at least he lost the stupid jewelry and changed barbers!] At the PC Courthouse... Ned wound up his testimony about the affair with Aunt Monica and court was adjourned. Alexis said that Dorman's case wasn't helped by the revelation. A.J. delighted in telling Ned that Lois had caught his entire act; Ned left for the gatehouse and damage control. Dorman's attorney marveled at the sliminess of his client and was glad that Dorman had chosen medicine instead of the law as a career. Outside in the corridor, Dorman baited Monica and Alan and told Alan that he knew about Ned and Monica because she told him so. As the three of then prepared to go their separate ways, Alan, tired of saying the same old line, simply pulled out a tape recorder and played a pre- recorded death threat to Dorman. He and Monica left for the Q mansion and a talk with Emily. Meanwhile, at the Q mansion... Emily had been watching television when the news about Ned and Monica was revealed. Either she was high at the time or she and Matt decided to get high afterwards. They got the munchies and devoured a good portion of Monica's Valentine's candy from Alan bought. When Alan and Monica returned home they ran Matt off so Monica could, once again, apologize for having a life before Emily was born. Alan left to take a walk and Monica went upstairs. Matt phoned and he and Emily planned to indulge themselves in a smorgasbord of illegal substances. At the Quartermaine gatehouse... Ned tried to reason with Lois about stuff from his ancient past. Predictably, she accused him of lying to her yet again and was pleased [in this updater's opinion] to find another reason to leave. Later on, she returned to the gatehouse to talk to Ned. Instead, she eavesdropped on his conversation with Justus. Ned had just told Justus that he was leaving ELQ and that Justus was the new CEO. Justus countered that HE was leaving ELQ to resume his law practice. Ned said that he knew about Damian Smith and would use the knowledge to force Justus to stay at ELQ, etc. etc. etc. In the bat cave... Bobbie told Stefan abut Luke and his delusional fantasies. Then Stef told her about Luke's visit to Katherine's room and how persuasive her brother was. Bobbie told Stef to nip on over to GH and visit Kath. Bobbie said Stef should befriend Katherine so that Luke wouldn't have undue influence. In Katherine's room at GH... Sonny visited her and told her that unless she told the truth about who shot her, that her life could be in danger from Stefan. She gave him the raspberry. Miranduh came in and caught a glimpse of the Port Chuck newspaper. The headlines screamed about the "Mobster and the Model" but Sonny laughed it off. He left. Katherine told Miranduh that she should try and get Jax back. In Miranduh's apartment... [gee, for a 90's happenin-type of gal with no money and who claims to travel light, Miranda seems to have acquired some heavy and expensive pieces of furniture and many geegaws "books are so decorative, don't you think?"] She and Sonny shared a drink and he told her she should get Jax back before their divorce was final in a week. They left together to find some dinner. In the Jacks penthouse at the PC Hotel... Jax laughed off the newspaper headlines but Brenda was upset. They exchanged Valentine gifts: she got him some cheap-looking boxer shorts and some other junk [but he DID loook pretty toothsome in them later on]. For her, he'd had a large anonymous box delivered and gave her instructions not to touch it until later. Of course, as soon as he left the room, she lifted the top. Immediately, a large rubber life raft started to inflate. She squealed like a piglet and flipped around the room like a trout on a hotplate. Jax came running, all smiles; they made love in the raft. [looks like the GH writers have been watching Nick at Night and making notes during the Dick Van Dyke show reruns. The "nosy wife opening box o'raft" was a classic only, of course, much funnier] > end > end > send comments, questions, and flames to kathy@gundog.lbl.gov > end > end