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Subject: Sent: 5/3/96 6:01 AM From: Jan Yarnot, jyarnot@netcom.com Well, these days I'm having trouble with my News, so who knows how late this update will be? Thursday, April 25, 1996: THE QUARTERMAINE HEIR Ned sneaks in on a sleeping Lois. Natch, she wakes up. "Hey, good morning!" he says. He's been doing ELQ business and it wasn't pretty... "grandfather has been meddling again." She lets him feel the lump (just how far along *is* Lois-the-character, anyway? Dr. Meadows was making second trimester noises, but now we have first trimester sleepiness and morning sickness (second trimester is the Heartburn Time!) This baby seems to be doing some Reverse Soap Opera Aging of its own!) "The two people I love most in the world", says Ned. Lois wants to know what the Quartermaines had to say about the baby. She's stunned to find out Ned hasn't told them. He wanted to tell them together, though he'd really rather they never found out. "You want to keep our baby a secret from the Quartermaines?" "I want to keep our baby SAFE from the Quartermaines!" He goes on: "I love my family, but they're insane. And you'll find that out soon enough if you haven't already." Lois doesn't believe it: "Aw, all families go nuts over babies." Hasn't Gloria been calling every day? "To the Cerullos, this child is a baby. To the Quartermaines, it is an heir." "What's the difference, besides the size of his or her bank account?" Ah, explains Ned, it IS a bank account, that's all he ever was. He was a rival with Tracy. This is also the trouble with AJ. And she knows about Dylan, who would be 4 now? He doesn't want their baby to be in competition with Dylan, but if Edward had his way, that's what would happen. Lois is convinced Ned is exaggerating, but they have to tell the Quartermaines. Ned wants to know if she's sure, she could always take a trip to Italy, with her Ma. No. Well then, if they're going to tell the family, best do it now, while Monica and Alan are gone. "The fewer the people, the smaller the fight." At the Big House, AJ asks Lila about Jason and asks her to tell him AJ is sorry. She's sympathetic to the grandson just as Ned and Lois come in, and the Edward harrumphs in, he has some papers about Deception for Ned to sign. "Already been done, Grandfather." "Then why are you here?" Ned says they have an announcement and Edward blusters: "I knew it, you're getting a divorce." AJ congratulates Lois while Edward talks of prenuptual agreements, and Ned interrupts "NO! We're having a baby!" Lila is, of course, thrilled. Edward says "it's about time! Have you called the lawyers?" He's interested in setting up the trust. He wants Edward Louis (the 4th?) for the baby's name. Ned is thinking Jason Henry (the Henry for Lila's brother) and Lois pipes up with Michael Carmine. Ned, incredulous, asks "for Sonny Corinthos?" [Why would he instantly think of Sonny, I am always forgetting his name is Michael.] She starts to explain when Edward trumpets: "This is absolutely ridiculous. The Quartermaines do not name their children after felons!" [Quite the other way around, in fact!] "By the way, Jason is unacceptable also!" "Grandfather," shouts Ned, "We'll name him Al Capone if we want to, and it's of no concern to you!" The argument escalates, till Lila chirps up: "Yellow!" This effectively stops the fight while everyone stares at her. She means for the nursery. It's a lovely warm color and there is plenty of room in the East wing on the second floor for the nursery and a nanny. NO nanny, says Lois! Didn't Ned like Nanny Hayes? Well, yes, because she was the only adult who paid any attention to him. AJ figured Nanny Hayes dropped Ned on his head, and Ned cleverly ripostes no, that happened to AJ. Meanwhile, Edward explains at the top of his voice that they can't bring up a Quartermaine heir in "that hovel." (the Gatehouse.) Besides, he can't see either of the Ashtons changing a baby. Lois says she's sone it, and Edward scoffs: "with those nails?" [Yeah, those nails have got to go!] Edward is getting ready to register the child at St. Bartholomew's, the boarding school in Switzerland, when Lois has had enough. "OK. Hold it right there! OK, Buster, this has gone on long enough. [I was waiting for the "blow it out your ear!"] We told you because we wanted to share our joy..." Ned: "Don't get upset!" "Don't get upset?!? Our child isn't even born yet and he wants to send it to a foreign country!" Edward: "I just want him to take his rightful place in the family..." Ned explains that the baby has a place in HIS family, and they leave. Back home, Lois says "You were right. They're insane." Ned argues: "They mean well." "It's not well-meaning to treat a baby like a stock dividend. . . . how did you stand it?" Lila's love was Edward's ace in the hole, and Ned was looking for something like that. Lois heads up to bed, but stops and tells Ned that if they have a girl, she would like to name her Hope. [Not Hope Gloria, PLEASE!] MAC DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS Katherine is at her desk when Mac comes in. He wants to see her, but mostly he is looking for his watch. She has taken it, in order to give him a gold one. "It's... gold." He doesn't like it at all, which disappoints her. She wants to give him stuff. "What about the nights you've held me when I was worried about Robin?" [If he's so bloomin' worried about Robin, what was he doing with Katherine? Yes, I *know* what he was doing, it's a rhetorical question!] He tells her he needs love, time, not things like watches and clothes, they don't matter to him. Robin is on the couch remembering Morgan's kiss. Mac comes in and asks if she's sick. He decides to make it a Scorpio family night. He thinks he needs a break from Katherine. [about 6 months ago.] He tells Robin about the watch, and she says "You cannot be other than you are." He recognizes this as a nice way of saying he's stubborn. He begins to realize Robin is smiling all the time. This worries him for a couple of seconds. She tells him about being scared, and about being different. And about missing Stone. They start to talk about creative sex [the blind leading the blind?] when the doorbell rings, to their collective relief. It's Katherine. Robin leaves them to discuss the money situation. Mac tells Katherine that she's not the first rich girl he's dated. [He neglects to mention the other one was her purported half-sister, Dominique.] He says it isn't the money, "the problem is how important the money is to you." He doesn't want any more presents. She agrees. She advises him on some videos, then leaves... to return with a giant TV. Robin reverts to 6-years- old and pleads to keep it. CARLY WORMS ON IN Carly is talking to Audrey when Amy and Alan come up and she meets Alan. Just then there is an only-in-Port-Charles emergency: a high school band was practicing the Star Wars theme preparatory to going on the field at half-time (what sport is this in April in upstate New York?) and apparently were overcome with carbon monoxide. Chaos results, and for a few minutes Carly looks stunned that hospitals might have sick people. She goes to the lab for Monica, who comments "Carly is a life-saver" to Amy's eye-rolling disgust. Then to Trauma One with Alan's records, where she helps by holding the sousaphone for Norman Winslow, who is smitten. [These are the same kids who were so terrible on AIDS education day, right?] Meanwhile, Dr. Dorman brings a cuppa for Monica, just before Alan does. Later Alan finds out that Dorman plans a "consultation" lunch with Monica. When the band director keels over, Carly helps with student Alexis' hyperventilation. Bobbie chats about Tony's guitar, and about her kids. Later Carly sucks up to Amy, who isn't having any, and to Tony, who loves to hear about how musical he is.