Daily Updates

From: jyarnot@netcom.com (Jan Yarnot)
Subject: GH: Update Thursday February 1
Date: Tue, 6 Feb 1996 05:00:15 GMT

HIJAXED
(Sorry, but I couldn't resist, and it was either that or IN ALASKA WITH
JANE AND JAX (ALAS ALAX) which Rika would have to answer for.)
Jax straps Lois into her seat in the cabin of his airplane, and off they
go.  She wants to know where, and he tells her they are going to Alaska.
Lois hasn't had geography since Miss Mary's class... oh, she hasn't
thought of Miss Mary for a long time, she was a lay teacher (Jax looks
astounded and says "excuse me?" and Lois has to explain about nuns and
laiety, and Miss Mary was a miserable old bat who hated kids and why
would she take up teaching anyway, and where was she?  Jax reminds her,
and she says oh, yes, isn't Alaska a big place and are they just taking a
Sunday drive past or is he going anywhere in particular?  They're going
to the Jacks homestead.  Homestead?  Yes, it's about a thousand acres.
Lois looks properly astounded (I figured it'd be a whole lot bigger than
that, how about you Texans?) She never used to know any rich people, and
now that's all she meets.  Old man Jacks started with a mere 500 acres
and built it up, read up on a little geology and lo and behold, found
oil.  When Jax and his brother Jeremy did their first buyout, they were
sold on "the game."

Jax says Ned is "the old man with dimples?"  Lois refutes this and raves
on about her Nedly for a while.  He says "Lois.  That is bad news."  Off
to the cabin, the one where Jagger and Karen first kissed... no no no,
this one is in Alaska.  Jane Jacks is there, Jeremy is who-knows-where,
and Dad is at the bottom of the Bering Strait.  Seeing Lois' appalled
look, she hastens to explain :"in a bathysphere."  Jax fills his mother
in on his need for money, she taps a couple of computer keys and gets
it.  Lois calls Ned.  Guess what, dear, I'm in Alaska and I'm staying
overnight.  Ned wants to know what she is DOING in Alaska with two of the
most certifiable people in the world!

GLASS HOUSES
Kevin (who must have broken all speed limits getting to General Hospital
from the courthouse, or maybe it *is* Ryan back!) is asking Jason some
questions in his office.  Look at the sofa, look at the chair, describe
some similarities.  Jason does.  Then Kevin asks why people who live in
glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and Jason responds they'll break the
glass and stop asking questions.  He's tired of getting prodded and
poked.  Kevin should know what Jason has lost, he's lost everything.
Leave me alone.

Back in his room, Jason has a visitor, Ned.  Ned isn't too bad, he
doesn't expect Jason to be any particular way.  He doesn't ask questions,
and Jason likes his pretty wife, too.  Jason asks Ned what the people who
live in glass houses thing means, and Ned explains it's a metaphor.
"Anything you don't know, you come to me."  So Jason asks why, if they
sell CDs, the company is L&B "Records"?  "Gotcha!"

THE LANDMARK CASE ON DUCK TESTIMONY
In the courtroom, DA Schultz thanks Lucy for coming back and bringing her
duck.  The jury foreman starts to explain about why they want "the duck"
and Lucy explains that "the duck" has a name, Sigmund, which he prefers.
In the lobby, KatyWhine is pouting about being called again, then she
comes in to the courtroom.  Sigmund mutters under his breath, but says
nothing.  Katy says "look, you worthless waste of feathers, it's me."
Nothing.  Schultz asks Lucy why the duck, uh, Sigmund, is so quiet, and
Lucy goes to talk to Justus.  She explains the situation, and PodMac
blames her "Lucy, this isn't GOOD!"  Justus says he has an idea, but
"it's going to sound a little weird..." and Lucy interrupts with the line
of the day: "to ME??"  Justus says they should declare Sigmund a hostile
witness.  Lucy agrees she can do that and marches back into the
courtroom.  Schultz metaphorically (Jason, you paying attention?) throws
his hands in the air and says why not?  Lucy tries to get Katherine to go
out (confer with your lawyer, you stupid twit!) and Katy, predictably,
wants to know why Lucy thinks she's in charge.  (I'll hang myself if I
want to, and nobody's going to stop me.)  Finally she takes the hint, and
Lucy confers with Sigmund.  When Katherine comes back in, Sigmund glares
at her.  She glares at Sigmund.  Finally she says: "do you know what I
have at home?  Lots and lots of orange sauce."  Sigmund, understandably,
takes umbrage at this, and from then on can't be quiet.  Schultz excuses
them, but Lucy wants to know what's going on... till Katherine nearly
drags her off.

I'M GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING
At LUKE'S, Lucky and Luke and Mike are getting ready for the bachelor
party.  Lucky discusses Sonny and Mike: "How many fathers does a guy
get?"  Lucy and Kevin and Mac and KatyWhine are at dinner, Justus is
heading for the party, "I need some aspirin along the way."  Lucy wants
to talk to Laura.  She tells Luke about her visions, and Katy says,
snidely, "welcome to my world."  Luke places the vision in San Antonio.
Lucy is so eager to get at Damian RIGHT NOW, she can't eat, which must be
a first.  Kevin and Katherine and Mac poohpooh her enthusiasm.

At the party, Sonny pours out a glass for Stone.  Mike and Harry discuss
Lily and Brenda.  Sr. Rivera apologizes to Luke for his bad hospitality
the last time Luke was in Puerto Rico (he tried to have Luke killed.)
Sonny looks a bit cowed by Rivera.  Mike talks to Rivera.  Mike likes the
cigars Sr. Rivera has brought.  "Nice perks."  Justus beats Mike at
pool.  Luke gives a toast: "I am proud to be your friend.  I hope to
return your loyalty.  Good luck."
--
Jan Yarnot, net.granny, RABbabe, Proud Mom to Stands-With-a-Book, the
        Booklist Boy, the IRS Guy, the Tycoon, and Sunbunny.
        Growing older is mandatory, growing up is optional.
jyarnot@netcom.com                 Putting the fun in "dysfunctional."