Daily Updates

Date: Sun, 1 Jan 1995 22:10:59 CST
From: U14780@uicvm.uic.edu
Subject: GH: (Repost) Update for Fri 12/23/94

I'm reposting this in case people were on vacation last week.

                            GH Update for 12/23/94
                            By John R. Andrews, UIC

Well, I hope all you loyal update readers are having a nice Holiday. Here's a
special little ditty just for the season.

            Ricky the Would-Be Actor
       (Sung to Rudolph the RRR, of course)

            Ricky the would-be actor,
            As a singer had some fame,
            But if you ever saw him,
            You would really say he's lame.

            All of the GH RATSers,
            Used to laugh and treat him mean.
            They never wanted Miguel
            To show up in any scene.

            Then one happy Christmas Eve,
            Labine came to say,
            Ricky you can't say lines right,
            Pack your bags and go tonight.

            Oh, how the RATSers loved it,
            And they shouted out with glee,
            We'll never have to FF,
            Scenes with Miguel or LeeLee.

Scene 1
Brenda tells Lois about the annual hospital Christmas party and tries to
convince Lois to attend. Ned arrives to apologize again for missing the
concert. Lois gives him the razor-treatment and abruptly splits with Brenda
for GH.
Scene 2
Tony agonizes over his annual role as Santa thinking about BJ.  Alan offers to
do it, but he says no.
Scene 3
At the party, Lucy, dressed in a red velvet-like outfit, buttonholes Kevin who
says he has a present for her.
Scene 4
In Katherine's apartment, Damian and Katy prepare to attend the GH party.
After they leave, AJ breaks in and plants a jewelry box with pills in it.
Scene 5
Lucy searches Kevin's clothes for the hidden present, but Kevin says he was
joking and gives her a gold pin shaped like a duck.  [Kevin: Lucy, that's not
my pocket. Lucy: Good, that's not a very big present.] He explains that in
Chinese mythology the duck is good luck. She says she loves it because, "Doc,
you could have given me a Christmas goose." "That comes later," he retorts.
"Good," she replies flirtingly.  More bantering among all the familiar PC
denizens, then some time killing caroling.
Scene 6
The staff and children gather for Steve Hardy's telling of the Christmas Story,
but to everyone's surprise he announces that this year he'll be updating the
story a bit.

                           The Christmas Story 1994
   Mary and Joe were poor farmers in Iowa. One dark night while Mary worked
   late due to cuts in farm price supports, an angel appeared to her and
   told her she'd be having a baby.  Since Mary didn't believe in angels she
   assumed it was an extra-terrestrial and ordered it to stop.
   Unfortunately, it didn't have respect for woman's rights and forcibly
   impregnated her. When she told her husband, he was very upset for they
   had decided not to have children because of their financial situation and
   especially because they were practicing abstinence as birth control, and
   he was chronically tense. They decided to terminate the pregnancy, but
   when they got to the local family planning clinic, Joe was accidentally
   killed when he got caught in automatic weapon crossfire between the
   Right-To-Lifers and the National Abortion Rights League. Mary proceeded
   on alone to a nearby hospital, but since health care reform failed they
   wouldn't treat her with out insurance coverage. So on she trudged to the
   local county hospital, but once again she was turned away. This time the
   reason was the Hyde Amendment which prevents the use of Medicare funds
   for abortions except for rape (and they wouldn't believe an ET was the
   father) or incest.  Desperate, Mary turned to a fringe left wing
   political group, the liberal democrats. Eventually, her son grew up and
   became a vocal anti-establishment televangelist.

Scene 7
After the story, Santa/Tony arrives, but Damian interrupts to give Steve a
large donation to the hospital fund.  Lila shows up and invites half of Port
Charles to the mansion for some holiday cheer and some red and green
Jello-Shooters.
[Recipe from Rudolph's Red-Nosed Drink Guide: Make Jello as usual but
substitute vodka or tequila for some of the water.  Pour into small paper cups.
Serve liberally. Don't drive.]
Scene 8
Lois argues with Sonny and Brenda about their acceptance of Lila's offer to go
to the Q's.
Scene 9
Alan and the boys argue inanely over the electric train setup.
Scene 10
Damian and Katherine gloat over their GH appearance. The camera pans over the
planted jewelry box as Katy professes joy at being free of the Quartermains.
Scene 11
WARNING: This scene contains incredibly distasteful images.
Miguel gives Leelee an engagement ring and kisses her.
Scene 12
Luke and Laura decorate their tree and discuss recent PC goings on.  Lucky and
Foster arrive, and they all make like a happy family.
Scene 13
Keesha and Justus arrive at the Q's. Justus discusses the incinerator with Ned
and Edward until Lila intervenes. Soon, Lois, Brenda, and Sonny arrive. Ned
tries to talk to Lois, but Sonny blocks him. They exchange words about his L&B
commitment. Finally, he corners Lois and tries to apologize and give her a
gift. She tells him loudly that she doesn't want his gift. As everyone watches,
she tears into him about his screwups, he counters that he loves her, and
that's all that matters.  Eventually, she walks out, leaving him to stare
forlornly out the window after her.
Scene 14
When she returns to the gatehouse, she opens the gift, a beautiful jewel
pendant which Ned had said matches her eyes and stares at it tearfully.
Scene 15
Laura opens their Christmas tree angel, and Luke places at the top of the tree.
The four of them stand picturesquely in front of the tree.