SoapZone Community Message Board

It replaces the story of the customer who came in sobbing because her mother had just died, and could she return this top and pants that still had their tags on them? The answer, unfortunately, was "no"; I don't remember which now but one of the items had a tag so old that my co-worker "B" (Big Grandma Energy) barely recognized despite being with the company 14 years (you only have 60 days to return something) and the other item wasn't even one of ours. Both items were also excessively wrinkled and covered in pet hair. The customer immediately switched off the tears and got angry about not being able to return the items. I get that grief does funny things to people but the way the tears dried *instantly* made me suspect they were crocodile tears. Also, even if we DID take the clothes back, one of two things would've happened: either the mom would've gotten a refund on her credit card or the daughter would've been offered a merchandiser card. The daughter was NOT someone who looked like she would wear our clothes. We suggested a consignment shop; she snatched the clothes back, huffed and departed.

Anyways, my new favorite story...I was working with "S" when a woman came in with her pregnant daughter. We'll call the mom "C" for "customer"...though in her case, it could also stand for a female body part that rhymes with "hunt". C came in all belligerent and oozing self-importance. She tossed two separate bags onto the counter and told me she was returning "some" things but she'd just placed a big order and kept some other things and BTW, she shops with us all the time. Now at my workplace, there's several ways to process a return; we obviously prefer you give us a receipt but we can also go into your account and then scan the barcode on the item being returned. C had the paper that came with the order for four of the items, all in the first bag, but she didn't have any proof of purchase for the last two items which were in the second bag. Anyways, I started with the items with the receipt and processed the first three items, then I noticed there was no tag on the fourth.

Me: "Um, ma'am, there's no tag on this sweater."

C: "So? You have the receipt and can clearly see I purchased it from you. I shop here all the time!"

Me: "Yes, but technically, we're not supposed to take back anything without a tag."

C: "That can't be right!"

Me: <points to sign on the counter that says, admittedly in small letters among other disclaimers, that item must have the original tag still attached to be returned>*

(* a quick note here...we've had a few issues with our warehouse sending items out without their tags so we generally don't make a stink about the lack of an original tag but still...if you buy something, don't remove the tag unless you plan to wear the item until it either falls apart or you fall out of love with it. Cutting off the part with the price is acceptable though)

C: <huffs and rolls eyes> Well clearly I bought it!

At this point, the pregnant daughter jumps in and asks her mom why she told the tag off.

C: "I don't KNOW!"

So I told her I'd return the tagless item just this once but don't take the tags off again unless you're planning on keeping the item, and I set aside the one without a tag to deal with later. I then tried to scan the barcodes of the last two items, but for some reason, the register kept sending me back to the screen that shows me the first four returns.

Me: "Ma'am, I'm going to have to close out the return on these four items and try to process the last two separately due to an issue with the register."

C: <dramatic sigh> "OK, but I'm in a hurry!"

I have now ruined her day, her week and possibly her entire month with my gross incompetence.

30 seconds later, I complete the return on the last two items, one of which is a red turtleneck sweater. C points to it and asks me if I have it in the larger size so she can try it on.

Me: "I will have to look in the back room." **

(** - For general reference, sometimes when we say we'll look in the back room, we know it's not in the back room and are just trying to walk away from an annoying customer so we can take a deep breath and scream into a metaphorical pillow. But this time, I knew we had a second size run in the back)

C: <more dramatic sighing>

I brought out the red turtleneck in the correct size and held it up. C snatched it out of my hand, held it next to her and hemmed and hawed for a bit...

C: "I don't know. It looks too big." <literally tosses sweater back at me> "I'll have to come back soon when I have more time. When are you open?"

Me: "10-7 every day except Sunday. On Sundays, we're open noon-5". I resisted adding "And please come in on Sunday because that's my guaranteed day off.", though I really, REALLY wanted to.

C turned to go, and I started to unclench a bit...and then she turned back to me.

C: "Can you look up my coupons? I'm sure I have a lot of them since I just ordered a bunch of things and I shop here all the time."

Me: "Of course! Give me a moment..."

(yes, cue the dramatic sighing).

Uh-oh. Karen...I mean "C"...has no coupons. I tell her so in my best regretful voice.

C: " That can't be! I shop here all the time! I just placed a big order a couple weeks ago and spent $600!"

Yes. And you just just returned $500 of it. No, I didn't say this to her.

C whipped out her phone and went to our website. She was having trouble finding the section that showed her account, and then she couldn't find the part that lists her coupons, so Pregnant Daughter had to do it for her.

Me: "If you find any coupon, I'll gladly honor it for you. In the meantime, we're having a sale: spend $125 and you get $20 off, spend $200 or more and you'll get $50 off."

The daughter immediately found the right place to look on the website and showed it first to her mom, then to me. Yep...no coupons.

C: "That's ridiculous! I just placed a big order! I shop at <company> all the time!"

Me: "I'm sorry, ma'am. Sometimes it takes a while for coupons to show up in your account."

At that point, C demanded the number for our customer service and I happily gave it to her. Muttering, she turned to leave, and I turned to take her items to the back room where we have a box specifically for internet returns. And then...my lovely co-worker decides to engage Pregnant Daughter, and by extension C, in conversation. For 10 minutes. After C kept harping about how she HAD to leave because she was in SUCH a hurry. There were no other customers in the store so I did, in fact, go into the back room to take a deep breath and scream into a metaphorical pillow.

Once C and her pregnant daughter left, I pulled S aside. I said to her "S...I love that you're an extrovert, and you're really, really good at engaging with our customers. But in the future, when a customer has worked my last nerve, please let her leave when she says she's going to leave!" .

S was very apologetic (and could tell how much the customer upset me because I used the b-word several times, both as a noun and as a verb, describing how C complained to me). Not to pat myself on the back but S told me she absolutely did NOT get "that vibe" from me, that I seemed perfectly pleasant and unruffled. Yeah...it's called professionalism. My cheeks were hurting from keeping my phony (and anyone who knows me would recognize it as such) smile on my face.

Oh, but that's not all! Later, I was looking more closely at the sweater that was returned without a tag and it had not one but TWO rather significant greasy stains on the front. So C probably wore it, got something on it and decided to return it now that it was "ruined". Which was a shame because this particular sweater has been very popular and we're out of all but the biggest and littlest size.

AND...just for fun, I looked C up in our "customer book". Since customers give us their information in order to receive perks (like...coupons), we have a database that tells us who they are, what size they wear, what they're most likely to buy...and how often they shop with us. C joined our loyalty program in 2014 and has bought something from our company exactly 8 times in 11 years. Three times, she went to our competitor a couple towns over (our store manager utters their store name like she has a mouthful of something extremely unpleasant tasting) once she shopped at our Columbus store, once she went to the outlet store nearby, once to an outlet store in Florida and twice she placed an online order. Not once has she ever been in "my" store. Two of her orders were for multiple items; the rest were for only one or two items. This is NOT our definition of "shops here ALL the time". We have regulars we literally see once a week or more (one's been in four times this week alone), and they regularly leave the store with no less than four items and usually many more.

If you made it to the end of this story, thanks for reading! I can chuckle about it now (and also feel bad for Pregnant Daughter for having such a rude mother).