I remember a story about a woman suing for being called "lady" and am about afraid to call anyone anything...
I had something similar happen once, years ago, only it involved an act of kindness instead of a term of endearment. An older gentleman held a door open for me at a store, so I of course said to him "Thank you very much!" Instead of saying "You're welcome!", he replied with "Oh, thank goodness!". I thought that was an odd response until he told me the last woman he held a door open for glared at him and called him an "A-hole". I guess she thought he was being misogynistic...I thought it was just being polite. I hold doors open for people all the time, regardless of their age or gender.
I once refused to buy a product after a woman who was younger than me referred to me as "baby girl". *cringe* I just turned and walked out... never went back. And don't ever call me "deary" either.. who are you Witch Hazel from Bugs Bunny?
Hah! First of all, I'm fine with "dear" or "honey" from a stranger; I choose to take it as either politeness or sweetness (although admittedly it depends on who I hear it from). And it would make my day if I ever encounter a UK citizen or transplant and get called "luv" or "duck" because that's just adorable to me. But HARD no on "baby girl" (especially at my age) and "deary". Apropos to that...I can imitate Witch Hazel's cackle *perfectly* (according to my friends) and like to add a little "...mother" before the cackle (IYKYK).