against wall>.
YEARS ago, I tried to convince Sis we shouldn't exchange gifts anymore. She was always telling me how tight money was, how the budget was not really there, etc. But she also would tell me that "it just isn't Christmas without gifts". I understood that she meant GIVING gifts, not getting; some years, she's said "you're getting something but don't worry about getting us (her and BIL) anything". Yeah, like I'd be comfortable with that. One year, when the whole family was up here (the first time since the niblings were tots), we drew names. That was nice. One year, when money was tight for everyone, I told everything that this year, we'd limit the amount spent on each other to $15 (usually it's between $50-75). Sis sent me a handful of gifts; the very first one I opened, I knew was worth more than $15 *sigh*.
So I shouldn't have been all that surprised this morning when Sis sent a text asking me to send my annual traditional Christmas "wish list" anyways because "who knows, Santa might read it also!". I told her I would but reminded her we agreed on no gifts this year. She texted back that she will ALWAYS send "small" gifts. Of course, who knows what her definition of "small" is. I also told her Dad assumed he was part of the "no gifts" thing, which surprised me a little because ever since Mom died, he's been big on doing things exactly how she would, and no way would she have agreed to not sending gifts. So he didn't write out the traditional Christmas checks that he sends to Bro and Sis in Thanksgiving cards (which they then split among the family members). Sis was surprised also and told me she'd already ordered herself something, assuming there'd be a check coming. To her credit, she wasn't mad and said "that's what returns are for".
I have a feeling that next year, we'll be back to exchanging gifts. I'm also wondering if it'd be OK to have that agreement with one side of the family and not the other. I'm positive Bro and his kids will stick to the "no gifts" plan this year.